"I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection"

Remember back in December when I committed myself to a year of holistic monthly challenges? Yeah, about that...

I naively thought that a more modern approach to new year's resolutions would increase my chances of sticking to a program of self-improvement, but it turns out that the old addage "old habits die hard" holds true regardless.

For instance, in February, the "month of love," my goal was to give a compliment to someone each day. Simple enough, but when it came down to it I found it surprisingly difficult and by the end of the month essentially had given up trying. It requires a level of vulnerability to tell someone that you don't know very well that you think they're cool, and while all intentions were pure, something about meeting a quote for flattery felt forced and unnatural. So while I continued to give "normal" compliments to friends and coworkers without effort, if one didn't come organically or naturally, I would simply move on. I did end up giving a lot of very genuine praise to my husband, which definitely yielded positive results in my marriage!

Perhaps a better theme for the month would have been general kindness. One random kind act a day- everything from holding the door for someone, to donating to a cause that I believe in- would have been much more rewarding and perhaps easier to accomplish. (Then again, why only a month when I should strive to be doing this year-round?!)

There are a few of the monthly themes that I am passionate about trying, such as April's Plastic Free challenge, but in general I am finding inner peace in NOT having one more thing to think about and work towards. Right now I am in full-on Baby Prep Mode so between birth classes and house projects to financial and career planning- my own personal enlightenment is not a priority. Or maybe it is simply manifesting in other ways...

For the first time in a long time, I am going to "throw in the towel" and not follow through with something I said I would do. I am going to let myself down, and that's ok. Life will go on. Goodbye "self-imposed imaginary guilt", Hello "the best I can do". I am bowing out gracefully by practicing forgiveness and flexibility. I am showing the most important type of kindness, and that is the kindness to myself.

Love & Light (and less)



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