Pregnancy has led to more than a few set backs in my quest for a simplified life. I've had to start over in my ways, and throw some of my ideals out the window.
But even without the increased demands of parenthood looming, there are still contradictions every where I turn. As a reformed consumerist, this minimalism thing is riddled with guilt and confusion. Examples include...
I don't want my husband to have more than five T-shirts, but I am allowed to have 10.
I want to have all of my belongings to be able to fit in an Airstream – but I also want a comfortable and beautiful space to entertain and host guests in.
I want a capsule wardrobe – but I always want to look good and fashionable.
I want my business to grow but I don't want to pay for ads or boosted posts on social media.
I buy organic cotton underwear but I can afford organic bed sheets.
I avoid plastic wraps but still order takeout from my favorite restaurant.
I have boycotted all recreational shopping, but still add things regularly to my Amazon Wish List and flip through mail-order catalogs longingly.
And despite my best efforts, slip-ups happen all too often. For example, a few weeks I needed to find a specific product- a labeling clip for an organizational project in my laundry room. Target stopped carrying them and after hours of scouring the internet I still could only find them online at The Container Store. It was about $4 purchase but shipping was $5 (more than the item itself!) UNLESS I spent $70 more dollars- and then it'd be free. You know how the rest of the story goes... I got completely brainwashed into adding things to my cart that I didn't even need. The package arrived in 3 different shipments - (horrible!) and sure enough, I disliked nearly everything I ordered except for the clips that I originally wanted. I sent everything else back which meant having to pay $15 for shipping AND a trip to the dreaded post office during the holiday season. Needless to say- Lesson learned. Even online shopping has ways to tempt and trick you into buying more than you need. The only way is to JUST SAY NO.
It's not easy. I have realized that complete intentionality takes compromise and mistakes, but I find comfort in knowing that I have learned so much and every little bit helps the greater good. I should celebrate the changes I have made that I have stuck longterm.
I am buying less.
I am choosing well.
I am focused on my needs, not my wants.
I am motivated by my essentials, not my luxuries.
I am committed to authenticity.
I am following my heart and instinct above all.
I am aiming for quality, not quantity.
I am striving for progress, not perfection.
Small but impactful changes such as using blank notecards instead of store-bought stationary, making my own shampoo and deodorant with common household ingredients, using reusable/washable toilet paper (aka "family cloths"), reducing and reusing food waste, and buying more in bulk. Even my recent course in entrepreneurism filled me with hope and inspiration for the future- I am trying, and that's what counts.
Love and Light (and Less)